Monica Gothica
by Bara no Tsuki
Summary: This is one of my original stories I've been working with for a few months now. Monica is in a sense my inner feelings of how things in this world usually are except for the fantasy twisted in.
1. Chapter 1

No one ever said life was an easy thing, but some people don't know how hard it can truly be. You hear so many kids say their lives are so horrible because their parents say they can't go to their friend's house or their friends can't come over. Imagine not having friends. Imagine being so afraid of someone touching you that you can't get anywhere near another living person without feeling filthy, filthy with their destruction. That's my life, my curse, and it has left me alone my whole life. I cannot be close to another. I cannot let another touch me. My only sanctuary is nature and the animals, the animals that speak to me each day. I hear their pain and their sorrow at the loss of their world, their land that belonged to them for hundreds and thousands of years. At least they all have each other though. I have no one.

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	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 1

I woke with a start. The song of the morning birds was silent. None of them were perched on my window for their breakfast like they normally were this time of morning. Everything was silent for a moment longer, and then there was a crash down stairs and the sound of glass breaking. I sighed and sat up slowly, fighting the urge to scream. "Stupid people," I found myself mumbling. "Scare away the one thing I have to look forward to each morning." The destructive noises continued as I got some clothes and hopped into the shower. By the time I got out it was 7:30 a.m. and things still hadn't calmed down. I slid into my black jeans and my red tank-top, throwing on my trench coat despite the probably stifling temperatures outside. The knife I always carried within the pocket I had added near my breast was a comforting weight. As I slid on my gloves I heard a high scream from down stairs and sighed again, deciding it was time I got involved. I threw on my knee-high leather boots and buckled them up before heading out of my room. No telling how much glass was on the floor this time.

My mother, Kelly, stood near the bottom of the stairs, a glass in one hand filled with some dark drink and a baseball bat in the other. Even before I reached the bottom of the stairs I could smell the liquor on her. "Mornin' Kell. Been drinking again, huh?" She looked up at me as though startled by my being there then smiled a little. "Mornin'. Did ya sleep well Monica?" Her eyes were bloodshot and she looked like she hadn't slept all night.

"Yeah, pretty well I guess." I looked toward the kitchen where the broken glass and destruction was the worst. "Who pissed you off this time?" Her smile made me feel sick to my stomach, and it didn't help that she licked her lips like a hungry wolf gone mad. "Jason. He tried to pull some shit this morning. I already have one kid and you're a handful as is. I don't need any more hellions, let alone one with him." My stomach churned at the very thought of another kid in the house, and I nearly pitched over at the thought of Jason being the father. The man couldn't even pay his own bills, let alone help raise a child. My face must have gone pale because Kelly looked slightly concerned despite her drunken haze. "Monica, will you be okay with school taday?"

I nodded quickly, dreading the thought of being stuck in the house today. Despite the concern still plain on her face she gave me a quick nod then headed into the kitchen. I ran out the door before she could change her mind, grabbing my backpack from the closet as I went. The heat was horrid, but years of wearing heavy and dark clothes in this weather made it more bearable. I pulled my sun glasses out of my backpack and slipped them on quickly. The light always killed my eyes. Other kids my age were already out and heading to school themselves, girls in bright colored tank-tops and short-shorts, and boys in almost anything. A few other kids were in heavier and darker clothes like mine but theirs were for the sake of being called Gothic or Emo, not the protection I wore mine for.

My school was only a 5-6 minute walk from my house. Dalrose High. We had a football team but no mascot so we weren't the home of anything, though we had one of the best gardens out of any high school. Roses were the most abundant thing there, hence the name Dalrose. The building was an older model, still sporting the original red bricks it had first been built with 70 years ago. We had picnic tables scattered though-out one of the gardens where anyone brave enough to bear the heat could sit for lunch or to study in the shade of our many oak and maple trees. There were two areas like that, one on either side of the front entrance, and the jocks and preps liked to sit there in the morning when it was still slightly cool. As I walked toward the school's entrance I felt something heavy hit my back and sighed.

"Hey Demonica, what's the hurry freak? Afraid you'll catch on fire if you stay in the sun any longer?" I turned to see Cal Danvers, the quarterback for our football team and his friends at their normal table. His friends were snickering behind their hands. His girlfriend, Danielle Caro, was laughing and not even trying to hide it. Cal just had a smirk on his face that I wish I could have smacked off of it. I looked at the ground to find a rock the size of a golf ball on the ground.

I clenched my fists in my pockets until my nails bit into my palms, holding my temper the best I could. "Cal, come on I am not in the mood for this today." My voice shook slightly from my repressed anger, but Cal and his buddies took it as fear. Danielle, seeming to decide it was her turn to step in, let go of Cal's arm and walked up to me. "Oh come on Demonica. Is the little freak afraid?" She reached out to me and I backed up on instinct, blushing immediately after that. Danielle laughed again and Cal joined her this time, walking over to his girl's side. "Why you backing away Demon? You really afraid of us?" He took a step toward me and I backed up again, feeling my anger rise. Why did they always have to do this? They had no right to mess with anyone, let alone me. Why couldn't they find someone else to make fun of?

"Back off Cal. I'm warning you." I tried to keep my voice calm and controlled but it shook again. Cal smiled at me, a sickeningly sweet kind of smile that made me feel like I was going to vomit. "What 'cha gonna do Salsmon? Make me?" His words were cold, a challenge that I hated to refuse, but I couldn't get into any trouble, not over this idiot. I turned and started to walk away, only to get pulled back by my hair. Something burned like fire on the back of my neck and I screamed in rage as his hand touched the bare skin of the back of my neck. The sound I made was less than human but I could barely hear it. All I heard was a screaming voice in my head. "_KILL HIM! DESTROY HIM NOW!" _After that I lost all connection with the world around me. I remember feeling my gloved fist connect with something and the sound of bone cracking. I felt people grabbing hold of me and pulling me off of Cal's weeping body and someone holding onto my arms and legs while I fought to get at him again. Then I remember blackness, calm and deadly dark. 

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	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 2

I woke up to a bright light being shined into my eyes. I heard someone very close to me, felt them breathing against my face. Slowly my sight started to come back to me. I saw the nurse over me, her teal eyes gentle as she checked my pupils. When she realized I had woken up she smiled at me. "You did a lot of damage Monica. Do you know that?" She watched my expressions closely, reading into my eyes as I answered. "N-no. I-I don't r-remember what all happened." Ms. Tanner's eyes narrowed for a second then her expression softened. "Tell me what you do remember," she told me gently.

The softness of her voice made me shiver. She always acted carefully with me, careful not to touch my skin with hers. We had had a falling out my freshman year from it and since then she had always wore gloves when touching bare skin on me. "Um I was walking to the entrance, and Cal threw a rock at my back." She nodded slightly, showing me she was listening. "I told him to leave me alone and…" I flinched, my head starting to pound as I tried to remember. "And Danielle came over by me and went to touch me. I backed away from her and then Cal joined her. They kept taunting me and I turned to walk away then…" The memory of Cal's hand on my skin came rushing back all too clearly. I retched over the bed, throwing up into the waste bin until all I could do was dry heave. Ms. Tanner held back my hair for me, talking to me softly.

Once I finally got control of my stomach again she offered me a glass of water. I drank it quickly, washing the vile taste from my mouth and wetting my dry throat. "I am guessing he touched you from your reaction," Ms. Tanner said as she got me some more water. I nodded dumbly, my head spinning slightly still. "He grabbed my hair and pulled me back against him and gra-." My words cut short as I felt bile rise in my throat again.

Ms. Tanner handed me the cup again and I all but chugged the water down. "The back of your neck?" I nodded. She looked at me for a long moment. "Do you remember anything after that?" Her voice was calm but her eyes were hard and serious. I shook my head slowly, then stopped. "I remember screaming and then nothing. After that is all black." Ms. Tanner nodded slowly and noted what I said in a little journal. "You broke Mr. Danver's jaw and nose. You also busted his lip and messed up his face pretty bad. He had to go to the hospital." I couldn't decide if I should laugh or act afraid. Imagining Cal like that was a hysterical image in my mind, but I was afraid because I didn't remember the damage Ms. Tanner said was done to him. The damage I had supposedly done to him myself.

My voice shook when I finally spoke again. "A-and I did all that to him?" When she nodded I found myself shivering. "I-I don't even remember throwing a punch Ms. Tanner. I really don't." I could tell by the look in her eyes that she believed me. "Let's hope this doesn't get you suspended Monica. I know how things are for you so I am going to file in the report that you acted out of self-defense. If the challenge it we may have to finally explain your black-outs but they may want you out of the school if they know about them. Do you understand what I am saying?" her voice was controlled again but the look in her eyes gave away how bad this could actually get.

I swallowed dryly and nodded again. She looked at her watch for a moment then sighed gently. "Alright. You've been out for only an hour or so, so you've only missed first class. Let me write you a pass so you can head to your second one. Mr. Benert for art, correct." She smiled when I nodded. "He is a very good artist himself. I hope you learn a lot in his class Ms. Slate."

Once she was out of the room for a minute I checked the breast pocket of my trench, feeling the familiar weight of my pocket knife still there. When she got back with my note I grabbed my backpack and started to head out of the clinic. "Monica?" I looked over my shoulder at Ms. Tanner from the door. "Start leaving that pocket knife at home will you. One of these days I'm going to confiscate it and you won't see it for a long time, got it?" I laughed and saw her hide a smile behind her slender hand. "Alright Ms. Tanner. I'll remember that." With that I headed to second class.

The day went slowly for all of us. It was a Friday so you know everyone wanted to get home, except me of course. I was always the odd ball kid who wanted to be in class all the time. Anything to keep me out of my house that required very minimal human contact.

Second class, art with Mr. Benert, went well once I got there. We were assigned a weekend project: to draw what calmed us the most. Third class was math, a class that always came easy for me. Ms. Trail is the teacher in there normally but because she recently gave birth to a set of twins we had had a substitute, Ms. Coscan. Though she was a good teacher she was a bitch. She never let us work in pairs, which was fine by me, but the other students hated it because they couldn't copy another person's work now. Fourth class was History, to which put even me to sleep considering Mr. Holland spoke in such a monotone voice it could bore anything. Fifth class was with Mr. Holland as well: Science. Luckily he seemed a little more upbeat by then, maybe because his coffee had finally kicked in. Sixth was always hell for me: Lunch.

Worst time of the day for me was mid-afternoon when the sun is high and hurts my eyes more than any other time of day. Plus with our school only having two lunch periods half the student body was there too. I couldn't stand it because it put me in such close proximity of so many people. When I got to my table I didn't see Cal with his jock buddies, which was comforting, but his buddies saw me alone like I always was. Danielle was with them and her eyes were red like she had been crying a lot (probably cause I had ruined her stupid boyfriend's 'pretty' face). When she saw me her eyes bugged out for a minute and she practically snarled at me. I heard it even over the chattered going on around the other tables. Most of us ate outside, and a lot of the couples sat in the grass by trees or by the pond at the center of the garden. My table was right next to the pond. It was the most shaded spot this time of day. Their table was only about twenty feet away, maybe.

I sat down and opened my bagged lunch: salami, ham, roast beef, and cheese sandwich with mayo packets on the side, yum, as well as water and about a handful of homemade chocolate fudge (thank you mom). I heard footsteps behind me and ignored it the best I could, putting the mayo on my sandwich and taking a quick bite. I felt a tap on my shoulder and went completely still. Thank God I had my trench on. When I turned around, Danielle looked pissed. "What the fuck did you think you were doing? Attacking MY Cal like some kind of fucking animal!" It seemed like everything around us was stopping. Her voice was loud as hell so it carried across the garden easily. I just stayed very quiet and very still.

When I didn't answer her face started to get red. "I asked you a question freak! Now answer me!" She was yelling now, and it made my anger flare again like earlier.

"He shouldn't have touched me," was all I said, my voice quiet and deadly. The jocks that had been flanking her looked between each other, an expression of fear going between them. They had seen what I had done to Cal even if I had no memory of it, and they knew it could happen to them. Danielle was the only one that didn't appear phased. "What did you say bitch?" Her tone had changed completely, icicles practically dangling from her words.

"I said he shouldn't have touched me. If he wouldn't have touched me he wouldn't be in the hospital right now." I smiled at her coldly. "And if you decide you want to touch me too, go right ahead. I bet they can get an open bed right next to him there."

Her eyes went wide for a moment. "Did you just…."

I smiled again. "Don't work your thoughts too hard. I may not even need to put you in the hospital if you keep that up."

That set her off. "You little fucking freak! You threatened me! You fucking threatened me! And I even have witnesses to it! You are so fucking expelled."

I just laughed and turned back to my lunch, taking another bite of my sandwich. When Danielle went to walk away, I spoke again. "And I don't threaten you fecking whore, I make promises, and I keep ALL my promises." She must have spun around hard because I heard grass pull from the ground where she had been standing. She screamed before she tried to jump on me, but I didn't even need that as a warning. I had my lunch back in its bag and was up and moving before she even got near my tables bench. She slammed into the wood hard and fell to the ground, stunned. One of the jocks helped her up and nodded to me quickly. Then they helped her back to their table. The rest of the day went by pretty nice after that.

Chapter 4

The weekend went by with the mystery of the pendant and what the birds had said still in my mind. None of the birds came to my window on Sunday or Monday morning. I ended up putting the pendant on before Saturday had even ended. When Kelly asked I just said I found it on the ground and liked it so I brought it home. She didn't seem to mind at all. When I left for school that day she didn't seem to even notice.

The walk to school was quieter than usual. None of the little groups were really talking or laughing like usual. Probably because it looked like it may rain, and by the time I got to the school it was starting to. My first class was actually a free period so I had nothing to do but getting my work from the weekend finished up. By the time the bell for second class rang I had a drawing for my weekend project down and had my math, science, and history homework done.

When I walked into Mr. Benert's everything seemed to be the same, other than a few new boxes sitting on the special table set at the middle of the room. Well it at least seemed normal until I saw the boy sitting at the two person table I normally had to myself. He was bent over his sketch pad, drawing something that even at the distance I was at I could tell was complicated. Mr. Benert, who sat at his normal spit in the center of the room, noticed me paused at the door and came over to me. "Now Monica I know I normally always allow you a lone table but it was the last open seat." I shook my head for a moment to clear it and forced a smile for Mr. Benert's sake. "It's fine sir. Was just shocked was all. New student?" Mr. Benert seemed pleased with my reaction and nodded, his smile cheerful. "Family just moved here. Go ahead and sit down and I will introduce him once everyone is in here." With that he walked back to his chair.

I walked to my table slowly, looking the kid over. His hair was kinda long for a boy's but it suited him somehow. You could tell it was a natural black rather than that fake goth-dye black some guys went for. He was in a loose long-sleeved black shirt and blue-jeans so he seemed pretty casual. Well the shirt was at least loose on his chest and stomach. From his shoulders down to his elbows the fabric seemed strained, and you could see a good muscle-tone despite how skinny his arms seemed. His face was hidden behind his hair, but he had a strong jaw and semi-sharp cheekbones. All and all he looked pretty good, but it still bothered me that I was stuck sharing my table. When I walked behind him to get to my chair I looked over his shoulder to see what he was drawing. There was a tangle of knot-work running across the whole page, creating designs as it wound in and out on itself.

Only when I sat my things down on the table did he look up and I saw his eyes. They were a deep storm grey, but when the fluorescents caught them they turned pure liquid silver.

"Mejiro…" I cupped my hands over my mouth quickly, looking away from him. I hoped that he hadn't heard me but then I heard him talk. His voice was softer than most guy's voices but I was close enough to hear him. "How?…." Mr. Benert chose then to get the class in order. "Alright everybody, calm down, calm down. We have a new student to introduce." Mr. Benert looked over at the boy and signaled for him to stand up. He looked at me with an odd look before standing up. "Please tell the class your name and show us that drawing you were working on."

He looked around the class slowly before clearing his throat. "My name is Kaleb Mejiro."

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	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 3

That night I fell asleep earlier than my usual 3:00 a.m. The whole night was really quiet and for some reason that was more comforting than the owl's hoot, which was odd. For a little while I tossed around to get comfortable but then everything was black with sleep.

_The night felt oddly cold on my skin. I was by a dark lake that looked like it was coated in ice, but as a leaf hit the surface the water rippled slowly. When I looked into the water everything seemed normal, but when I leaned closer I saw something shining near the surface. As my hand touched the surface a wave of warmth went through my whole body. Not the scary warmth of when someone touched me but a warmth I had never felt. As I reached deeper into the water that warmth grew. As I reached toward the object it shined even brighter, showing the outline of a pendant. Once I finally reached it and pulled it from the water it astounded me how beautiful it was. An silver circle set in a black eye shaped knot-work pattern, hung from a silver chain sat in my hand. The warmth that I had felt from the water now radiated from the pendant. Everything around me went black as I focused on the pendant, on how much it felt like a human's skin but how it didn't make me scream in pain. _

_ Suddenly I felt arms wrap around my waist from behind, and only then did I realize that there were no clothes to protect me from the skin of those arms touching my skin and the panic that always followed. Yet the panic never came. I felt completely at ease which scared me even more than the panic and black-outs that another person's touch always brought on. If anything that is what made me scream and made the beauty of the dream around me bend and shatter around me. _

I sat up in my bed and looked at the clock and sighed. 4:30 a.m. My whole body shook from the memory of the dream, of that person's arms. I jumped when something tapped my window and grabbed my knife quickly. It wasn't until I heard the familiar pattern of the taps that I relaxed again. Slowly I stood up, my body feeling beaten and tired, and made my way to the window to find Gin sitting on my windowsill. I smiled and opened the window so the silver dove could hop inside. He chirped his normal greetings and jumped onto my shoulder, rubbing his head against my cheek affectionately. I laughed gently, all traces of the dream erased from my mind as I grabbed the bird seed I kept under my desk.

Gin hopped onto my desk as I poured out a small pile of seed for him. His voice rang out like a person speaking in my room, but after a few experiments I had found I heard the animals' voices in my mind, though I knew they spoke. "_I heard you scream child. What caused you so much fear?" _He had the voice of a father which made sense considering how many chicks he had fathered with his mate Tsuki. I stood there and ran my fingers over his wings a few times as I contemplated telling him about the dream. Gin knew my hesitations all too well. "_And do not attempt to lie to me little human. I know you well." _ I found myself laughing and spreading him some more bird seed. "That you do Gin." He ruffled his feathers and chirped in victory, eating the seed I had lain out for him.

"Well, I had a dream that I was at a lake and there was something really shiny in the lake." I noticed that Gin stopped eating when I mentioned the shiny and laughed. "I reached into the water to pick it up and it practically radiated heat. Not like a burning heat but warmth." I paused, remembering the feel of the pendant in my hands. When Gin pecked at my hand gently I came back from my thoughts. "Sorry. Anyway it was shaped like an eye and it was really pretty, but then someone wrapped their arms around me from behind, and I was naked and their skin touched my skin." I noticed how Gin's eyes focused on me with an inhuman intelligence. The animals were the only ones who truly knew what another human's touch did to me, the pain it brought over me.

"_Is that why you screamed child? Did the pain hit even in the dream?" _ He seemed to go rigid as I shook my head slowly. "No….It didn't hurt at all. It felt right to be like that and it scared me." Gin hopped onto my shoulder again, putting his head against my cheek. "_Maybe it was a sign child. Maybe you will be able to be near your kind soon without pain." _I looked at the sky through my window, thinking about the dream. "What about the pendant? Does it have specific meaning?" Gin looked at me with sad eyes. "_I do not know Monica. I do not know." _

I sat up for the rest of that morning till the sun rose and the morning song birds flew to my window for their birdseed. Tsuki was with them, as were three chicks I had never seen before. She nudged them forward slowly, all three just as silver-white as their parents. "So they finally took their first flight then?" I laughed as Tsuki ruffled her feathers in pride and laid out some seed before the three chicks. "What are their names might I ask?" She nudged each in turn, as though to encourage them to come forward. I held out my hand slowly, palm up. The first one to jump into my palm was the largest of the three. _"Sarha. Mother and father named me Sarha." _

I smiled and picked up a piece of seed to feed to her. "And a beautiful name little one, but what of your siblings?" The other two were hiding behind their father's wing, staring at me wide eyed. "_The one with the dirty wing I my brother Darren. The littlest one is Speckle." _I looked at the two and held out a handful of the birdseed. Darren hopped forward first and I saw what his sister had meant about the dirty wing. Speckle came to me last and I saw where her name had come from. She had grey specks covering her whole body. She was also the smallest of the group. "Well I am very glad that you were able to come here at last. Gin has not stopped yapping about you three all morning." Gin shot me an odd look but went back to eating with Tsuki.

Speckle hopped forward again and jumped off of my desk, gliding to my floor and hopping over to my bed. "_Speckle! Now this is not your home. Get back up here this instant!" _Tsuki was on the edge of the deck in under a second, her feathers fluffed out angrily, but Speckle kept going until she was under the edge of my bed.

"Now Speckle, why would you want to go under there?" I walked over and kneeled down by my bed, leaning forward to see Speckle playing with a silver chain that had been catching the light and laughed. "Tsuki calm down, she just found something shiny to play with." I stuck my hand out and Speckle jumped onto my fingers, the silver chain still in her beak. "Now let's see what this is shall we?" I pulled the chain gently from her beak and brought her out from under the bed. "_Shiny! Shiny!" _Speckle's voice rang like a small bell within my mind as I started to pull the chain out. There was a weight at the end of it. "Now what could this…" I completely froze as I finished pulling the chain out where I could see it. The pendant from my dream dangled from the end of it and the silver at the center of the knot-work glistened in the sunlight. "But…..but how?" Gin glided over to sit on my shoulder, staring at the pendant. "_Speckle has a habit of finding what is needed. It is her gift. Is this the pendant you spoke of earlier?" _I couldn't speak or move as I stared at it. The silver sparkled brightly and the knot-work seemed to move like snakes around the silver stone. Gin hopped down onto my hand and pecked the stone gently. Suddenly the warmth I had felt in the dream began to radiate off of it again.

Gin remained on my hand, watching me as the stone kept warming. I felt the arms wrapping around me again. Gin tried to speak to me, but I couldn't hear him. I kept hearing one word, a word I didn't understand. "Mejiro?" I hadn't realized I had said the word aloud until Gin piped a frantic answer. "What Gin? What does it mean?" Gin hopped off my hand onto my bed, putting himself closer to the pendant. "_It means Silver Eye, which would be logical but how…." _ Gin looked up at me thoughtfully, well at least as thoughtfully as a bird could look. "What?" I looked between him and the pendant.

_"There was a new family yesterday," _Speckle piped up.

"_Speckle! Quiet!" _Tsuki didn't seem angry, but more annoyed by the chick speaking. "_She must see for herself. We must go." _With that, Tsuki flew out my window with Sarha and Darren close behind her. Speckle seemed more hesitant but finally followed suit. Gin Stayed with me a moment longer. "Gin what was Speckle…." He cut me off before I could finish. _"Tsuki is right. You must find out on your own and you will see soon." _ With that he followed the others, leaving me there with the pendant.

"Mejiro… Silver Eye…" I stared at the silver ball in the center of the pendant, taking into account how it was eye shaped in itself. "But then Speckle…" _There was a new family yesterday! _Her words echoed through my mind as well as Gin's question earlier that day. "Could it be a sign?..." I was left to my thoughts for the rest of the day.

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